hungry

you don't know hungry until you have been there. Unfortunately, I've been there a few times. So hungry you can't sleep because your stomach is growling and you feel like puking because it has been too long since you have eaten.

That has been my summer. All my money has gone to make sure my kids have eaten, and even then they didn't eat nearly as well as I wanted them to. The last few weeks have been ramen, ramen and more ramen. I was able to get a couple of 99 cent Tony's pizza's at least once, but that really wasn't any better. I gave up eating anything healthy for them. It's what we do as parents. Sure I lost 15 lbs this summer, but it wasn't necessarily a good thing. I know I'm super unhealthy at the moment. People are more willing to feed me booze than food. It's calories, so I will take what I can get. Otherwise, I have nothing.

And they wonder why I am moving away.

I'm tired of the constant struggle. I've been struggling most of my adult life. Okay, all of it. I'm done, I'm over, I'm tired.

I need to go and find me. I need to go to a small village in a different country and take up a completely different life to do so. It's what I need and what I am about to do. Only 6 weeks and I am gone. For good.

I almost forgot about this blog.

I think I will be using it again.

Not that anyone reads this!!